Father's Day

Today is a day that to be quite honest, I'm not fond of.  It is just another reminder that my dad is gone. I handle these types of days a lot better than I did this time last year, but still it sucks. I feel like I behaved very childish and selfish this morning. I purposely did not set my alarm for church because I didn't want to go to the Father's Day service. I know I could've gone and everything probably would've been just fine. But I chose to stay home. In good faith I'm going to turn around how this post started.

I am going to reflect on how blessed I was to have an amazing father for 25 years of my life. My daddy was one of the best daddy's I could ever imagine having. He was laid back and for the most part didn't have a care in the world. He was just a "good ole country man" who loved riding around going 30 mph in his truck "checkin things out" he did not care what people thought of him and said what was on his mind. Hence the story below that my Brother-in-Law shared after Daddy passed…..

I laugh and cry every time I read this. Joshua captured my Dad perfectly. There was no telling Daddy that he couldn't do this or do that, because according to Joe Webb he ran Mason. Haha

I miss him with every ounce of my being. I miss being able to pull up into the driveway some days after work and sit under the pear tree, drink a beer, and share how our day went. I miss him calling me. I miss when something goes wrong with my car or with my house not having him to rush over to save the day. I miss seeing him pick on my Momma. I miss seeing him and Jackson ride the tractor together, or riding in the truck, or the four wheeler. I miss him sitting at the head of our dinning room table every Tuesday night. I miss seeing the look on his face when Erika starts telling her gross hospital stories. I miss hearing him and Joshua arguing over whose truck is faster aka "Who got smoked" I could go on and on about all the things I miss about him. The one thing I do miss is his advice. Any time I was ever having problems and was crying to him, he would put his arms around me, rub my back, tell me everything was going to be alright. He would let me cry for a little while then tell me I needed to get it together. We were going to figure out to fix it.

I am proud to say that I am Joe Webb's daughter. I was so blessed with such an awesome Daddy. There aren't too many people who can say they had a Dad as great as mine. I thank God that I did have him in my life for 25 years. Because in those 25 years I saw and learned how a husband should be to his wife and family. I saw how hard my Daddy worked in the field to provide for us. I saw how he truly loved and adored my momma. He was a great example of what I want and pray for my future husband to be.

Happy Father's Day to all of the awesome Daddys I know! I hope you enjoy spending time with your kids and family.   :-)

Here I go AGAIN...

I have decided yet again that I'm going to blog. I don't know why I stop, maybe I get busy, lazy? I'm not sure. But one thing I do know is that it helps me to get my feelings out and to be able to go back and re-read them. I have gone back and read some of my posts from when Daddy was sick and when he passed away. I really leaned on God. My relationship with Him is not where I would like for it to be but I've been working hard on getting there. 

Yesterday I went to church with my Momma and really prayed before I got to church that the sermon would be about something I could relate to and thankfully it was! I really felt like God was speaking to me.  Our sermon was about how God gives us tough things in our life so that we will rely and lean on him to help us through. With all of that being said, HERE IS THE TRUTH below….

Recently I've been having a hard time with relationships. I want so badly to get married and have children. All of my friends are married and/or have kids and I want it. Everyone keeps telling me "to be patient and wait, God will send me the right person." I know He will but, if you know me, you know patience is not something I am good with. I really have been trying to pray for God to let me be happy with myself. If his plan is for me to be on own then that's just something I will have to deal with and just let him lead me. I like to think of myself as a "go getter" so if I want something I usually get it. But, this whole being patient thing and waiting on the right man is SO HARD for me. 

I asked my brother-in-law the other night where I should go to meet "men" He said church. I was like seriously? You've seen where I go to church there is no one my age who attends. He said no, not go to church to meet men. You need to go to church and get a good relationship between you and God and then God will send you the right person. My brother-in-law is very wise and always gives me sound advice. So I'm taking it. I'm going to try my hardest to not focus on being single and look at it as a blessing and not a burden. Let this time be when I can go and do what I want and spend as much time with friends and family. Only worry about myself. 

I truly believe in marriage and believe in only doing it once. So when it comes to picking a mate I want someone who is going to stick by my side, be a partner, a best friend, someone to have fun with, I want it all. I know that I am a good person with a good head on my shoulders and that God will send me the right person at the right time. But, I'm having a hard time with the "right timing" part and waiting. I'm asking God to help me be patient. To help me be happy with myself.  

God,

Please help me to be patient. Help me to be happy with myself. Help my relationship to grow with you.  Thank you for all the wonderful people in my life. All of my awesome friends and a strong supporting family. Thank you for a wonderful job.