76

With the announcement of the 2016 Olympics host city just a couple of days away, I'm still torn on how I feel about Chicago potentially winning the bid. On one hand, it seems like there'd be lots of money coming into the city, lots of opportunity, etc. On the other hand, it just seems like it'd be a big ol' mess.

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I'm reading The Glory of Their Times, an oral recollection of baseball's early days, and what sticks out so far is how many players in the old days were named Rube, Red or Babe.

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Greatest Marx Brothers Web site ever: http://marxcouncil.blogspot.com/. Thanks, Joey!

75

So apparently I decided to take the month of September off for my blog. This decision was made by me and unbeknownst to me, so I'm going to have a talk with myself to figure out just what I was doing with all my spare time.

Of course, I was doing lots and lots of fun stuff in my spare time. Most of it involved Gator football, Vh1 reality shows and improv. 

But something of relative interest might be the preview of the Goodman's production of Animal Crackers that I saw last night. My friend got me a free ticket and I couldn't say no. I'm weak that way.

Animal Crackers was originally produced on Broadway in the late 1920s as a vehicle for the Marx Brothers.

It was made into a film in 1930--the brothers' second full-length cinematic venture, and their first stone-cold classic. It's a great, great movie, and I've loved it and laughed at it ever since I saw it when I was seven years old and got a VHS tape of it for my birthday (I had seen A Night in Casablanca on AMC--remember when they only showed old movies?!--and been hooked on the brothers Marx).

So when I heard that the Goodman was mounting a revival of the original 1928 musical--complete with scenes, songs and characters cut from the 1930 film version--I was a bit skeptical.

But they did great--about as great as you can do in recreating the Marx Brothers. Joey Slotnick plays Groucho, and from my seat in the back row, the resemblance was downright eerie. And the guy who played Chico nailed it--he found laughs in parts that I didn't necessarily enjoy in the movie. And dude played piano, too. What more could you ask for?

One tiny item, though. There's a scripted mistake in the show, and it's played off as a real error followed by a brilliant "ad-lib." But this mistake is, in fact, in both the movie AND the original play. I always thought it was a genuine mistake in the movie, and because it plays so well in the film, I figured they added it for the stage. But, as my friend and fellow Marx Bros. connoisseur Philip pointed out, this was in fact in the original text of the 1928 play.

I don't care for its inclusion. Other parts from the 1928 play were updated for this production, and I feel that you could cut this "artificial ad-lib" moment out. From where I sat in the audience, it felt like most people thought it was a genuine slip-up, and that feels like a cheat to me. I dunno, just my opinion.

Anyways, go see Animal Crackers at the Goodman.

74

We're just a few days away from college football season!

UF has been ranked #1 by pretty much everybody--including Lou Holtz, who lisped and spat his way through a horrible UF-Notre Dame prediction for the BCS title game this season. 

FYI: The last BCS National Championship team to have been ranked #1 in the pre-season AP Poll was the 2005-06 USC Trojans.

AFYI: UF was last ranked the pre-season #1 in 2001, later to be known as Spurrier's final season with the Gators.

The season looks fairly good for the Gators--thank God for no Ole Miss, because Jared Snead is going to have a great year--but, as always, playing at LSU is a concern, and Georgia is no sure thing, either.

I call Texas and UF in the title game. See you in Pasadena!

73

Is Michael Jackson actually ALIVE? No, but the conspiracy theories suggesting so are great fun.

For a moment, however, let's consider that he actually is alive. Let's think about what would happen if one of the biggest stars in the history of the world--one of the most recognizable faces on the planet, no matter which face--faked his death. 

Can you grasp what a colossal mind-blowing experience that'd be? If Michael Jackson got all Tom Sawyer on us?

I think that's one of the last great frontiers left in this nothing's-shocking-anymore world: a major celebrity faking his or her death, only to emerge from hiding at some point. It's Biblical. And in this increasingly transparent world, it seems near impossible.

Seriously, though, it'd be crazy.

72

Boyz II Men were right. So, now, we've come....to the end..of...the road.

"The road," of course, is Pitchfork's The Top 500 Tracks of the 2000s, and "the end" is the Top 20, revealed this morning.

What can I say? I'm happy to see my boys at Number 20. I'm also happy to see my predictions from yesterday's list make the Toppermost-of-the-Poppermost (except for "Gold Digger"--that's not one of the Top 500 Tracks of the 2000s? I call "bullshit," Pitchfork!).

So, did I finish strong?

Day Five: Tracks 20-1

Out of 20 tracks today, I know 15.

75 percent for today! Outstanding work, you classic son-of-a-bitch!

And my overall total? 24 percent. So close to 25 percent. So close.

My prediction for "Paper Planes" landing in the top spot was also so close. Landed in the 3 spot. Kudos to M. Trevor, whose "All My Friends" prediction took the Number Two position.

Number One was Outkast's "B.O.B.," by the by.

Happy 2010s, music world!

71

Day Four of Pitchfork's The Top 500 Tracks of the 2000s...

...but why does it matter? I FAILED IN MY GOAL.

I wasn't asking for too much, I don't think--I just wanted to know 40 percent of what one taste-making Web site thought were the 500 best songs of this young century. That's reasonable, isn't it?

Look at me. I can't even half-pretend that I'm "in the know." I can't even 40 percent-pretend that I'm "in the know."

Sigh. Let's just see what today brings.

Day Four: Tracks 50-21

Out of 30 tracks today, I know 16.

That's 53 percent for today, which brings my overall total thus far to about 22 percent.

Pathetic.

On the plus side, there's only 20 songs left. And so I offer a few tracks that I think will make these final spots. I do this because the purpose of these "Best Ever" lists is not to see which artists and songs are deserving of acclaim, but rather to see how awesome you are in your tastes. 

These songs will make the Top 20:

"The Rat" by the Walkmen

"Hey Ya!" by Outkast

"B.O.B." by Outkast

"Gold Digger" by Kanye West

"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley

"Paper Planes" by MIA

"All My Friends" by LCD Soundsystem

These might make the Top 20:

"Golden Age" by TV on the Radio

"There There" by Radiohead

This won't make the Top 20:

"How You Remind Me" by Nickelback

70

Day Three of Pitchfork's The Top 500 Tracks of the 2000s!

Folks, I'm really hitting my stride here. I've found a great groove on this list.

What changed? Better hand-eye coordination? More patience at the plate? Better wrist rotation with my swing? I don't know. But the results speak for themselves.

Day Three: Tracks 100-51

Out of 50 tracks today, I know 23.

That's 46 percent today, but a drop to about 20 percent overall.

What do I need to hit my aim of 40 percent? 111 more songs. And guess what? There's only 50 left. 

I've failed. This whole thing is a wash.

I'm also not sure if my math is right. I'm pretty awful with math. Math is my enemy, yo.